please read my thoughts


I'd want to be in a big city at night when it's raining. So high up you can't see the ground very clearly and how dirty it is. It'd be a very very big city, with a lots of lights. I want them to be pink and blue and purple. I'd have my clothes soaked, even my socks wet. I'd climb the fire escape stairs with my boots trampling on them making that very specific sound. The city would look nice because you could only see it as a whole and not the small details of it. Details make things ugly because they also have to be pretty for the thing to be beautiful, but the more details, the harder to make everything attractive. Vague can be beautiful easily. Big blinding lights are vague and beautiful if they match.

people dont want me in their lives because i am not pleasant

if he has already made me be part of his why can't he leave if he doesn't want it either

people know just by looking at me that i am not pleasant, that's why noone ever talks to me

if someone loves you they say it

you're disgusting and i am projecting

why am i not interested in people? what is wrong with me